


The Family Shopping Trip

by ObsidianRye



Series: Free Will Universe [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, GTA!verse, M/M, Now with more Jeremy Dooley, also im so bad at summaries sorry, its the crew being supportive of ryan, this is just like fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-16 12:19:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9270983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRye/pseuds/ObsidianRye
Summary: Every once in a while Jack arranges a "family shopping trip" as everyone had dubbed it. Ryan was never a big fan because he couldn't handle all the choices. But now that the crew knows why, they just want to help out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a one off that takes place in my "Free Will" universe which I published like 9 million years ago. I guess it could also be read as a stand alone, but it might be a little confusing at some parts. But what do I know, you do you. It probably isn't actually that hard to understand (Also in the original there was a serious lack of Jeremy and I didn't realize until I started this one. So know there's Lil J too) Thanks!

Every couple of months, Jack arranged a family shopping trip. The crew always woke up early, and they all spent the whole day going from store to store. Guns were strictly banned, and Jack was serious about them all behaving. The first time Ryan experienced one of the shopping trips, he had been with the crew for only a few months. He had yet to even share his real name with them. He had been the only one up when Jack came bustling into the living room, muttering to himself and arms full of empty, reusable bags.

“Oh, Vagabond!” He smiled at the other man, excitement in his eyes. “Would you mind giving me a hand with these bags?”

Ryan resisted the urge to tilt his head, and nodded slowly, “Sure.”

“Perfect!” He grinned, walking up to deposit a pile of empty bags in Ryan’s arms. “Can you take the empty ones down to the van? I need to pack a few of these with the essentials.”

Ryan only nodded, confusion swimming in his mind. He tried to remember if the crew had been talking about going on a trip, or anything, but he hadn’t left his room the day before or the day before that. He had gotten an unexpected call from Sir and it had thrown him for a loop.

When he went back up to the penthouse, he was surprised to find everyone milling about. They lads were all sprawled on the couch, struggling to stay awake. Geoff was lounging at the breakfast bar, stirring whiskey into his morning coffee. Jack was filling one of the bags he had kept with snack foods. Ryan couldn’t think of anything that would warrant this type of atypical behaviour. Pausing for a second, Ryan went over to Ray and tapped his shoulder lightly.

The sniper jolted upright, smiling lazily when he saw it was Ryan, “What’s up, Vaga?”

“What’s going on?” Ryan asked, looking up to see Jack placing three full bags by the door.

“It’s the family shopping trip,” Ray yawned, elaborating at Ryan’s silence. “Every couple months Jack takes us all out to go shopping. So, any personal shit you need to get, now is the time to do it.”

Ryan only nodded, awkwardly going to sit in one of the armchairs. Ray smiled at him before laying back against the couch, nudging a grumbling Michael to move over. Ryan smiled minutely, relaxing into the chair slightly.

“Alright!” Jack clapped his hands together, standing by the door with his shoes on and keys on hand. “Everyone get ready, we’re leaving in five.”

Almost everyone had already gotten ready, only Gavin running off to grab something or other. Everyone else gathered around the table rummaging through their pockets as Jack watched carefully. Ryan watched from behind everyone, puzzled.

“No weapons allowed this time Vagabond,” Jack explained, gesturing to the gun on the table. “Most of the guys have caught on, but I still make them check every time.”

“I’m the only that doesn’t just leave my gun behind,” Ray shrugged, pointing to his weapon.

Ryan bit his lip nervously. He really didn’t want to go without his gun, and though he knew- they all knew, no one could actually make him, Jack was _ordering_ him to do it. He pulled a gun from his waistband, placing it on the table silently. Jack only looked at him.

“I mean _no_ weapons,” He repeated, crossing his arms. Ryan was sure that Jack was completely justified in his expectations, if only because they were the Fake AH Crew, but he couldn’t help but be unhappy about it  

He pulled out his second, slightly smaller gun and placed it next to the first. Jack only continued to look at him expectantly. Ryan sighed silently, pulling an assortment of knives from his person slowly. Everyone watched, with slightly wide eyes, as Ryan disarmed himself. By the time he was finished, there were two guns, seven regular knives of varying sizes, and twelve throwing knives. That was just what he kept on his when he was home. Even though they were all watching him, none of the others knew where he kept them all. All he kept on him was a pocket knife that he had had since he was eight. He would sooner die than go completely unarmed. Jack seemed satisfied, even if he didn’t really believe that was everything on Ryan’s person, and he smiled widely.

“Y’all ready to go shopping?” He asked, smiling at the half assed attempts at enthusiasm from Jeremy and Geoff. Gavin came rushing out in the next second, flashing them all a winning smile when they looked at him.

They stopped at almost twenty different stores while they were out. There was a list of five stores that Jack required they stop at, and the rest were suggested by the others in the crew. Gavin suggested the most, wanting to stop at every other place they saw, and Ryan was the only one not to ask to stop at all. He never left Ray’s side, easily deflecting when anyone asked if he was going to get anything. Shopping without a purpose was not something Ryan was familiar with, let alone shopping for things he didn’t need. He felt slightly overwhelmed by all the possibilities each store provided. The only thing he got was a box of extra ammunition, if only to get the others to stop pestering him. They all tried to insist that he get whatever he wanted, but Ryan knew that was definitely not an option. His money wasn’t even really his at this point. He was able to afford anything he could ever dream of buying, which wasn’t much, because of the cuts he got from heist money, but really it was all meant to go to Sir. Ryan hadn’t been able to find a good way to safely transfer the majority of his earnings without raising suspicion. Instead, he held onto it, but there was no way he was going to spend any of it. Sir was very particular with his money. He would know if Ryan went over budget even once, and Ryan had never risked finding out what kind of punishment that deserved.

The next shopping trip was a few months after Ryan had finally gone maskless around the crew, though he still kept it on when they went out. He didn’t want to get recognized with the Fake AH Crew. Sir wouldn’t be happy if he turned on the news to see Ryan’s face plastered across the screen in case his crewmates started something (which they did). Ryan still stayed by Ray’s side, following after him like a lost puppy. It was easier to get away without buying anything, because the crew had long ago gotten used to his odd habits.

It had been just like the last trip. Gavin had to change into the spare clothes that Jack packed three times. Michael had to have two different water guns taken from him, and a can of emptied silly string. Jeremy was challenged into eating a ridiculous amount of sugary candy, which he did and it did not end well. Geoff hit his limit on the allotted alcohol budget in the first fifteen minutes, yet still continued to buy any fancy liquor that caught his eye. Ray ate more than half of the snacks that Jack brought during the drives between stores. Jack sighed more than he usually did, but he still smiled whenever one of them found something that made their face light up or enthusiastically ramble on about whatever it was. Ryan refused to buy anything but a new flare gun that Gavin and Jeremy were absolutely _not_ allowed to touch. He would need it for the next heist after all, and he couldn’t risk entrusting them after what had happened last time.

The third time he went shopping with the crew, was a month and a half after Sir’s death. He had slowly started to make his own choices, and everyone was nothing but supportive. Realization dawned on all of them when they all walked into Bed Bath & Beyond, and Ryan shuffled closer to Ray, squeezing their clasped hands. He was suddenly aware of just how naked he felt without his mask, and they could all see it in his eyes.

“Hey, Rye?’ Ray began, looking up at the frazzled man while rubbing slow circles on his hand with his thumb. “Have you ever, like, shopped for yourself? Did Masters ever let you buy anything?”

Ryan shook his head slowly, gulping, “No. I was never allowed anything but the bare necessities. I didn’t even really get to keep any money I made.”

“Bloody bastard,” Gavin muttered from where he stood next to Ray. Ryan shrugged slightly as everyone glanced at him.

“You know you can get anything you want now, right?” Geoff nodded, gesturing into the sprawling store. Ryan’s eyes widened slightly, and he felt the buzz of panic start to fog his mind.

“I don’t know,” Ryan shook his head, moving to stand slightly behind Ray, as if he was trying to hide from the store. “I don’t think I really want anything.”

Jack frowned at him for a moment before snagging one of the carts not far from them. He smiled at Ryan encouragingly, “Here Ryan, follow me. I have an idea”

Ryan glanced down at Ray, who only shrugged, before following. As they walked into the store, the others dispersed behind them, rushing off to their own sections of the store. Even Ray wandered off to check out the gaming section, making sure Ryan was comfortable in Jack’s capable hands. It wasn’t long before Jack was pushing their cart through the kitchenware aisles. Ryan looked at all the different displays as he followed after Jack silently.

“What do you think?” Jack asked, stopping in front of some egg timers. Ryan furrowed his brow.

“What do you mean?” He asked, watching as Jack idly picked up one of the timers shaped like a chick. The other man tossed it to him suddenly, and he caught it with ease.

“Do you see anything that looks cool?” Jack asked, “Anything you might want to get?”

Ryan recalled seeing a cake pan that caught his eye and he slowly shuffled off to find it. Jack followed after him with a smile, watching as he bent to pick something up from a shelf. When he stood, Jack couldn’t help but snort a laugh. Ryan frowned looking between the cake pan and Jack. He had only spotted it because it was shaped like a pirate ship, and he just couldn’t figure out _why_.

“A pirate ship?” Jack asked, smiling as he gently took it from Ryan’s hands to inspect it.

“Why is it shaped like that?” Ryan asked, watching as Jack looked it over.

“It’s to make a cake that looks like a pirate ship, like for a kid’s birthday or something,” Jack answered, handing the pan back to Ryan, who only stared at him blankly for a moment before looking back at the pan. Jack realized that he must have never had a real birthday celebration, and his heart wrenched.

“Do you want it?” He asked, pointing at the cake pan. Ryan frowned down at it, shaking it slightly.

“Why would I need it?” He asked, moving to put it back. Jack shot a hand out to stop him, gently grabbing his wrist. Ryan looked at him with questioning eyes.

“Well, no one really needs it,” Jack smiled softly, “but do you _want_ it?”

“I-” Ryan paused, fidgeting with the knot of nerves in his stomach. “I don’t know.”

“Do you like it?” Jack probed, watching as Ryan looked down at pan again. He bite his lip to keep from laughing when Ryan rocked it slightly, as though it was on water.

“I guess,” Ryan shrugged, looking back at Jack, who was grinning. “What?”

“If you like it, then get it,” Jack nodded, pointing to the shopping cart. Ryan looked at the cart hesitantly.

“Are you sure?” He questioned. “It seems a little expensive for some flimsy metal shaped like a boat.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Jack shrugged, nudging Ryan to put the thing in the cart. “We can afford a thousand of them. All that matters, is that you like it.”

“Okay,” Ryan shrugged, gently placing the pan in the cart. Jack beamed at him, patting him on the shoulder. They perused the kitchen section for a little while, taking turns picking things off of the shelves, before Ryan started itching to see Ray. Whenever he was out in public for too long, he started to miss the younger man, who could always keep him grounded. Wordlessly, Jack started toward the gaming section, sensing Ryan’s growing nervousness.

They spotted the lad in no time, playing one of the display games. Ryan smiled, hurrying over to him. Ray grinned when he spotted them, hugging Ryan when the older man reached him.

“Hey Rye,” He grinned up at the gent, leaning into his side. “How’d it go?”

“Good,” Ryan nodded, relaxing into Ray. “Jack helped me pick some stuff out.”

Ray looked into the cart, smirking at the contents, “Is that a salad spinner?”

Ryan shrugged sheepishly, “I liked the spinning. It was fun.”

“Fair enough,” Ray grinned, taking a look at a few of the other things Ryan picked up. He greatly approved of the rose cupcake molds, which Ryan did not choose just because they reminded him of somebody, thank you very much. Suddenly, he perked up, smiling brightly, “Oh, Rye! Check this out.”

Ryan followed after him as Ray tugged him through the video game aisles. Before long they ended up in the Nintendo section, and Ray picked up a plastic figurine, snickering to himself.

“Waaaaaaah,” He laughed, shoving the character in Ryan’s face. “It’s Waluigi!”

“What?” Ryan snorted, pushing away the character and inspecting the others. One that looked like a turtle skeleton caught his eye.

“It’s an amiibo! They have a bunch of different characters,” Ray explained, shuffling through a few of the other characters, listing off names as he went. Ryan carefully picked up the one that he had been looking at, as if it might burn him, and inspected it.

“Oh! That’s Dry Bones,” Ray nodded, leaning into Ryan’s arm to look at the figurine. Ryan smiled at it.

“Nah,” He shook his head, looking down at Ray with a playful grin. “It’s Skeleton Turtle.”

“Fucking dork,” Ray laughed, shaking his head as Ryan continued to look at the plastic character. “Do you want to get it?”

“Uh- sure,” Ryan shrugged, letting Ray take the amiibo and toss it unceremoniously into the cart. He smiled slightly, and Ray reached for another one.

“Look at this asshole,” He grinned, holding another character in Ryan’s face. “It’s Wario.”

Ryan gently took it, looking down at the character, “He’s short. Like Jeremy.”

Ray laughed at that before picking up another one, and introducing it to Ryan. They went through all the characters the store had, and Ray would occasionally toss one into the cart. Jack had left to go keep track of the others, but he had left the cart with Ryan. When they had finished making fun of all the Nintendo characters, they wandered through the aisles aimlessly.

“Want to go find one of the others?” Ray asked, his hands shoved into his hoodie pockets as Ryan pushed the cart as a leisurely pace.

“Sure,” Ryan shrugged, glancing at the lad with a smile, “Why not?”

“Whoever can find someone first gets to pick the movie tonight,” Ray challenged, turning to Ryan with a smirk.

“You’re on Narvaez,” Ryan grinned, a wicked glint in his eye. Ray’s smile turned wide and excited, eyes narrowing competitively.

“Bring it Haywood,” He teased, but before he could get anything else out, Ryan was kissing him. It was a soft, chaste kiss, but Ray couldn’t help but relax into it. A moment before Ray was ready to deepen it, Ryan was pulling away with a mischievous grin.

“Got you,” Ryan sniggered, and dashed away with the cart rattling before him. Ray stared after him, slack jawed. He shook his head with a growing smile, chasing after the gent.

As Ryan rounded the corner into a different aisle, he shot Ray a grin, and disappeared. Ray heard a startled squawk and slowed to a walk. When he entered the aisle, he found Ryan laughing, and Gavin gripping a bottle of shampoo against his chest with wide eyes.

“You scared the bloody hell outta me Ryan!” He exclaimed, halfheartedly glaring at the amused man. Ray crept up behind them, smiling at Gavin as he wrapped his arms around Ryan.

“You cheated,” He claimed, looking up to meet Ryan’s eye. The gent lifted one eyebrow carefully, smirking at Ray, who was working on regaining his breath.

“I was strategic,” Ryan nodded, “and are you really out of breath? We ran for like two minutes.”

“Normally when we’re running, it’s more metaphorical, and on at least two wheels,” Ray defended, turning to Gavin who was looking at an assortment of hair products.

“What are you two going on about?” He asked, only glancing at the couple, though he was grinning at them.

“We were racing to see who could find one you guys first,” Ray explained, letting go of Ryan to stand next to him, “and he distracted me.”

“You two are lunatics,” Gavin shook his head, picking up a bottle of hair gel. He smiled at them nevertheless, “And Ryan totally won.”

“By cheating!” Ray exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. He went to lean against the cart’s handle. Ryan pressed a kiss against his temple with a smile, and he playfully pushed him away.

“Oh, Rye-Bread!” Gavin exclaimed, holding a container of some hair product. “While you’re here, I was wondering what type of conditioner you use? I don’t really fancy the one I have now.”

“Uh, I don’t really use conditioner,” Ryan shrugged, furrowing his brow when Gavin turned to him in horror. “Normally I just use shampoo. I think it’s the Up and Up one”

“But you have such nice hair!” Gavin exclaimed, shoving whatever he was looking at back on the shelf, and pushing Ryan to look at the conditioners. “You’ve got to take care of yourself Ryan, and that includes your hair.”

Ryan shrugged, feeling overwhelmed as he looked at all the different types of hair goop, “Sir- Masters never really gave me anything other than shampoo.”

“Animal,” Gavin muttered, shaking his head as he regarded the shelving full of hair product. He grinned suddenly, and reached for a fancy looking bottle with a floral decoration. “How about this one? It smells like green tea and mint!”

“Uh, I guess?” Ryan agreed, not sure of the stipulations of hair products. Gavin grabbed another bottle and held both up to Ryan.

“Or this one, it says it’s lavender!” He grinned, popping the tops open. “Have a sniff.”

Ryan grabbed the first one, and waved it under his nose slightly. A wave of mintiness accosted his nose, and he wrinkled his nose, “This one is gross.”

“Try this one,” Gavin urged, taking the mint one and replacing it with the second. As he snapped the top closed, and replaced the bottle on the shelf, Ryan took a hesitant smell. A pleasant flowery smell drifted out of the bottle, and Ryan hummed slightly.

“I like this one,” He nodded, smiling as Gavin clapped his hands once. The lad closed the lid on the bottle and pushed it into Ryan’s chest.

“Take it! I’ll grab the matching shampoo,” Gavin nodded, going to search the rows of shampoo. Ryan shrugged, and placed the bottle in the cart. Ray was watching him with a wide smile, saying nothing even when Ryan looked back at him.

“What?” Ryan asked, walking over to the lad. Ray only shrugged, smiling wider when Ryan wrapped his arms around his waist. “What are you so happy about?”

“Gavin distracting you with the smells of shampoo gave me a moment of peace,” He smirked, putting his hands on Ryan’s chest, spreading his fingers. Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Hardy har asshole,” He squeezed Ray’s waist, planting a gentle kiss on the lad’s forehead. Ray smiled up at him, and Ryan’s matching smile cracked through his features.

Gavin finally found the shampoo and tossed it into the cart, not giving the couple a second glance. “Hey Ryan, I was gonna look at all the bath bombs and stuff. Wanna come?”

“What the hell are bath bombs? That doesn’t sound safe at all,” Ryan asked, loosening his grip on Ray slightly as he looked at Gavin with a puzzled look.

“I can’t believe you,” Gavin sighed, shaking his head. He started down the aisle, looking over his shoulder at his two friends. “Well. come on you knob.”

Gavin stopped two aisles over, gesturing widely when Ryan and Ray came to a stop next to him. Ryan tilted his head at the rows of crude spheres of color, some sculpted into shapes, and small vials of different oils. Gavin grinned at him and Ray rolled his eyes.

“What is all this?” Ryan asked, hesitantly picking up a pumpkin shaped one. It had a face on it, like a jack-o-lantern would.

“It’s bath bombs and stuff,” Gavin grinned, snagging one off the shelf and tossing it into the cart. “They fizz in the water and make it all colorful. It’s made of like minerals or some nonsense.”

“And you just sit in the water with it?” Ryan asked, silently showing Ray the pumpkin shaped thing, shaking it in his face. Ray chuckled slightly, taking the product and putting it in the cart.

“Yeah, it’s relaxing,” Gavin nodded, picking up another. “Some of them have crap that’s supposed to be good for your skin.”

“Oh,” Ryan nodded, surveying the variety of bright colors. Gavin pointed a few out to him, rambling on about things Ryan didn’t entirely understand.

After he finished showcasing the bath bombs, Gavin dragged Ryan all over the Health and Beauty section of the store. He was determined to stock Ryan’s bathroom with the lush necessities he loved to indulge in. Ryan followed after him in curiosity, and Ray pushed the cart behind them, smiling at his crewmates gently. Gavin helped Ryan pick out the basics, and explained the more lavish choices Ryan had never considered. It was a great time all around, and by the time they were finished, Ryan was promising to tell Gavin what he thought of everything.  

Ryan was the first one to hear the whirring buzz, and looked upward. Coming towards them was what looked like a small helicopter. Ryan pointed at it, suddenly feeling on edge.

“What the hell?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at the flying object. The two lads looked up at where he was pointing.

“Calm down Rye,” Ray assured, smirking slightly. “It’s just a toy. Probably some kind of RC helicopter or something.”

As Ryan nodded, Gavin broke out into a wide grin and turned to them, “That must be Michael!”

“Really?” Ryan asked, looking up at the toy incredulously.

“It must be one of those new ones with a built in camera,” Gavin nodded, waving up at the toy. “One of the ones you can control from your cell phone.”

The toy swooped downward, becoming eye level with them. When Ryan hesitantly raised a hand to wave, it swayed back and forth. Ray laughed, and Gavin went up to inspect to helicopter. Ryan looked at it in surprise before looking down at Ray with wide eyes.

“It waved to me!” He broke out into a grin, and Ray looked back at him with a smile.

“Yeah,” He nodded, “it probably is Michael on the other end.”

Before Ryan could respond Gavin was demanding their attention, “C’mon, I think Michael is leading us to him!”

The toy had flown a bit down the aisle, and was hovering in the air, seemingly waiting for them. All three followed after it. Ryan thought they must look a little ridiculous, but smiled happily nonetheless. They ended up in the toy section in no time. As they were walking down an aisle, presumably towards Michael, the helicopter crashed into the shelving, and fell to the floor. Gavin looked over at Ryan and Ray with a worried expression. The next moment an unmistakeable voice sounded from a few aisles over.

“What the fuck asshole!” Michael yelled, and Ryan could practically see his furious face.

Gavin rushed off towards the voice, and the couple followed after him. Ray paused at the fallen toy, holding it carefully. He had no idea if it would suddenly start again.

Two aisles over, the three found Michael. He was in the middle of an argument with a guy who couldn’t be more than the lads’ ages. Michael’s phone was lying on the floor between the two. Ryan glanced at Ray, and they shared a worried look as they approached the two.

“Micoo!” Gavin exclaimed, rushing up next to Michael. He bent over to pick up the phone, “What happened, boi?”

“This jackass here decided to knock my phone right outta my hand!” Michael explained, gesturing to the guy standing in front of him. Gavin turned to him with a scowl, as Ray and Ryan stopped behind them. They all stared at they guy.

“Listen, it was an accident!” The guy defended, holding his hands up in defense. Ray rolled his eyes and was about to apologize for Michael’s temper as the other lad spoke again.

“That’s bullshit! You were just mad that I wouldn’t let you try out the stupid helicopter,” Michael yelled, pointing angrily. He crossed his arms with a huff as Gavin placed a hand on his shoulder, and handed him his phone back.

“Wait, really dude?” Ray asked, looking between his friend and the stranger in front of them.

“I-I didn’t mean to,” The guy argued feebly. Just as Ryan opened his mouth to ask Michael if his phone was alright, the stranger bolted down the aisle and around the corner. They all stared after him for a moment before Ray started laughing.

“What’s so funny asshole?” Michael scowled, but his eyes were bright. “He could’ve broke my fucking phone.”

“Thank god he didn’t,” Ryan commented, “Jack would be pissed if you got us banned from another place.”

“Last time was not my fault!” Michael exclaimed, pointing a finger at Gavin. “It was this fucking idiot who started it!”

“Michael, it was accident!” Gavin defended, though his grin said otherwise.

“You don’t accidentally throw a ball at someone’s head! Three times!” Michael snapped, shoving Gavin’s shoulder. The brit stumbled slightly, and in turn, launched himself at Michael. Ray sighed as Ryan shook his head. The four walked idly through the aisles. Gavin and Michael paused in front of the Nerf guns, and Ray couldn’t help but shake his head slightly. Ryan tilted his head, eyes narrowing quizzically.

“Do you think Jack forgot about the ban?” Gavin asked carefully, though his words were lined with mischief.

“Fuck no,” Michael scoffed, but grinned at Gavin. “But it’s been so long, like two years, do you think he’ll even try to stop us?”

“You have a point,” Gavin nodded, a matching grin breaking out on his face. “What do you think X-Ray? Rye-bread?”

“I think you’re a bunch of idiots. No way you get to keep those longer than a month, at best,” Ray shook his head, but the corner of his lip twitched with a smile. Ryan just shook his head, lost.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Ryan admitted, glancing over Michael’s shoulder to get a better look at the display. Gavin gasped lightly, smacking Michael’s shoulder.

“Of course!” He exclaimed. “The Great Nerf War was before your time! We have so much to teach you now.”

Gavin took a deep breath, ready to launch into a convoluted explanation, but Michael butt in, “Maybe we just start with the basics.”

Gavin nodded with understanding at the lads’ pointed looks, “Of course.”

Ryan let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, sometimes Gavin could get so caught up in the moment that he overwhelmed Ryan with his “explanations,” but most of the time he caught on before it got to be too much for the gent. Plus, even if he didn’t realize what he was doing, there was always someone else who did.

“So,” Ryan began, breaking the brief silence between them, “what exactly are the basics?”

Team Nice Dynamite grinned at him, and Ryan got a feeling that Jack would not appreciate what was happening. Ray silently pat him on the shoulder, and Ryan looked down to find him looking up with amusement in his eyes.

Suddenly, the other two lads pushed something bulky in Ryan’s arms. He looked down to find a gun? Made of plastic?

“Uh, what is this?” Ryan asked, turning it over in his hands as he inspected it.

“It’s a gun!” Gavin exclaimed.

Michael rolled his eyes, elbowing Gavin slightly, “A _fake_ gun. That fires _fake_ bullets, made of foam.”

“It’s called a Nerf gun,” Ray interjected, sensing the lingering confusion in Ryan. “It’s a toy that fires little darts made out of foam. We all used to have at least one at the penthouse, but then someone almost died. Jack outlawed the things, and strictly enforced it. That was about two years ago.”

“How did someone almost die of _foam_ bullets?” Ryan asked looking between the three lads, eyeing the giggling Team Nice Dynamite.

“Let’s just say it involved a lot of booze, a rapid fire gun, and the tankl for Geoff’s pet fish, with the fish still in it,” Ray explained with a sigh, “and more booze.”

“And it was _not_ my fault,” Gavin said, suddenly serious. Michael glowered at him.

“Well it wasn’t my fault, dipshit!” He snapped. Ryan ignored their squabbling and continued to look down at the toy in his hands. It was definitely intriguing.

“So, how do these things work?” Ryan asked, and immediately the bickering stopped.

“They work like a gun does,” Michael shrugged, “except with less explosives and more air. And less death. Mostly.”

“Sounds like a hoot,” Ryan said, still unsure of why the lads were so excited over these. Gavin and Michael shared a look.

“He doesn’t seem to understand Micoo,” Gavin’s voice was innocent, but his face was covered with a sly grin. He grabbed a gun off the shelf and dumped it into the cart.

“You’re right boi,” Michael grabbed one too and tossed it in the cart, sharing the same grin as Gavin. “We actually _do_ have a lot to teach him.”

Ryan looked at Ray as the other two continued their back and forth. Ray was smiling in amusement, looking up at Ryan with an excited glint in his eyes. Wordlessly, he took the package in Ryan’s hand and put it in the cart.

“This is gonna be so much fun,” He said. Ryan began to feel like he had gotten himself into something that wasn’t going to end well.

“You still have to pick out one for yourself Ryan,” Gavin pointed out, tugging Ryan closer to the shelves. Ryan looked between all the toys, starting to feel overwhelmed. Gavin placed a gentle hand on his arm and softly said, “Just think of it like you’re shopping for a new gun, for a new heist.”

“An intense heist,” Michael piped up, smiling encouragingly at Ryan. Ryan nodded, suddenly feeling confident.

“Choose wisely young grasshopper,” Ray joked with a grin, “for your life may depend on it.”

Ryan snorted, shaking his head at the younger man. He turned back to the rows of guns, and considered his options. You could never go wrong with a straight up pistol, but a rifle was always fun. An automated weapon would definitely do a good amount of damage, which he liked, and… is that a chainsaw? And a crossbow? And a sniper rifle? And a bow and arrow! Without thinking Ryan started grabbing things off the shelf. He definitely needed the crossbow and bow and arrow; he’d be a fool not to take them. The chainsaw was just too good to pass up on, and automation is always a must on heists. And a sniper rifle? Who does he know that could use that?

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Michael tossing boxes upon boxes of ammo into the cart, and he can hear Gavin and Ray muttering to each other. With something that looked suspiciously like a rocket launcher, he turned to look at the two lads. They were grinning at him, and they looked like they were barely containing their laughter.

Ryan narrowed his eyes them, “What?”

It was too much for them to take, and they burst into laughter. Michael looked over at them, grinning with just as much amusement.

“What?” Ryan asked, looking between the three lads. “I don’t understand.”

Ray started taking deep breaths trying to calm down, but kept falling into a fit of giggles. Ryan suddenly started to feel like he had done something wrong. Something he Shouldn’t Have Done. He started shuffling on his feet, and clutched the “rocket launcher” to his chest without thinking. Ray shook his head, forcing himself to calm down. He walked over to put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, still calming down.

“No, don’t worry,” He began, composing himself, mostly. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Then why are you losing your minds?” Ryan asked, narrowing his eyes, but settling his anxieties all the same. Ray grinned at him.

“You were just so into picking out what you wanted,” Ray chuckled slightly, “and it was just fun to see. You were even muttering under your breath about the pros and cons of each gun.”

“Oh,” Ryan felt a blush creep up on his face. “Well, Gavin told me to think of it as heist shopping, so I did.”

“I know,” Ray smiled. “That’s what makes it so great. Also, I’m not going to lie, you were starting to go a little overboard.”

“You can never have too much firepower on a job,” Ryan said, pointing at Ray with the “weapon” in his hand to emphasize his point. Ray rolled his eyes and batted the toy away.

“Yeah okay. Whatever dork,” Ray grinned, as Ryan took a turn rolling his eyes. He placed the “rocket launcher” back on the shelf and looked into the cart. He shrugged and looked back at Ray.

“Okay, maybe you’re right. I _might_ have started to go a little overboard.”

The three lads laughed, and Ryan could help but chuckle, when they were interrupted by a loud guitar riff, followed by a shouted apology, from the music section. They shared a look, and hurried toward the noise, just a few aisles away. When they got to the right section Gavin was immediately pulling out his phone to snap a few pictures. In front of them was an annoyed employee, an elderly woman, scolding the one and only Jeremy Dooley as Geoff laughed hysterically. Jeremy had a guitar slung on his shoulders that was plugged into an amp that _probably_ wasn’t set up like that before, with his arms raised. He glanced over at the rest of the crew when he noticed them with a sheepish look and a careful shrug.

“-and I know for a fact that that amp wasn’t there before you came along!” The employee looked beyond annoyed, shaking a finger at Jeremy.

“I know,” Jeremy started. “I’m real sorry, I just wanted to test it out. I didn’t realize it was turned all the way up. I’m really, really sorry ma’am.”

The woman narrowed her eyes at Jeremy but looked over his shoulder at the still laughing Geoff, “And you!”

Geoff had never stopped laughing so fast in his life that it almost gave the crew whiplash.

“How can you stand there laughing like a madman while-” The woman paused when Jack came up the aisle behind her, and interrupted her.

“What did they do this time?” He asked, the exasperation his voice clear as day. The woman seemed relieved that someone else with an ounce of common sense came along, and quickly summarized what happened.

“I apologize for their mess,” Jack shook his head, looking over her shoulder at Jeremy pointedly. “I can take care of it from here and make sure they don’t do anything else stupid, if you’d like. I’m so sorry they were a bother”

The woman sighed with a curt nod, and hurried off. Jack turned to look at all of them with crossed arms and annoyance on his face. There was a collective gulp between the crew.

“Just once I would like to have a shopping trip where I don’t have to apologize for y’all every five seconds,” He looked between all of them, and was satisfied that at the very least, they had the decency to look ashamed.

“Sorry Jack,” They said in unison as Ray also said, “Sorry Mom.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you are,” He waved a hand, but couldn’t keep the glimpse of a smile of his face. “Jeremy, I don’t care if you get the guitar, but I would like you to reconsider the amp.”

“Yep! I’ll put it back right now,” Jeremy nodded, hurrying to put away the device. Jack sighed one more time at Geoff, who only shrugged, and turned to the others. He smiled widely at Ryan, but frowned when he saw the Nerf guns piled in the cart. However, he remained silent, much to Michael and Gavin’s delight, and turned to Ryan.

“How’re you doing?” He asked. “Having fun?”

“Uh,” Ryan looked around at all his friends and into the cart of things he didn’t need. “Yeah. I am.”

Ray beamed up at him, wrapping an arm around him in an one-armed hug, which he returned.

“Oh hey, Ryan!” Geoff called, beckoning Ryan over. “While we’re here do you want to look for some music you like?”

“I’ve never really listened to music. Sir said it would distract me,” Ryan shrugged as Jeremy and Geoff gasped, appalled. They dragged him down the aisle pointing out their personal favorites for his consideration.

Ray came up to loop an arm around his, smiling. Ryan never felt so comfortable shopping before, and he could only thank his family for that.

* * *

Michael and Gavin started to trail after the others, but Jack grabbed them by their collars and leaned in close, whispering, “I’m letting you have _them_ back because I know Ryan will like it, but don’t get the wrong idea. Anyone who starts the second Great War will go up in front of a firing squad.”

Jack released them and walked down the aisle, leaving Gavin and Michael definitely _not_ shaking in their boots.

“He meant the Nerf guns right, boi?” Gavin asked, a subtle tremble in his voice.

Michael gulped before answering, “O-Of course.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and comments are much appreciated!


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